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	<title>Rick Colosimo &#187; language</title>
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		<title>Draft better contracts by paying attention to words</title>
		<link>http://rickcolosimo.com/2010/10/draft-better-contracts-by-paying-attention-to-words/</link>
		<comments>http://rickcolosimo.com/2010/10/draft-better-contracts-by-paying-attention-to-words/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Oct 2010 18:45:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rickcolosimo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Five-minute lawyer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drafting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[venture capital]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rickcolosimo.com/?p=620</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This post on the use of the term immediately, one of many similar explorations by Ken Adams, is the sort of thing that attracts me to contract drafting. There is a lot to be said for using the right language to convey an idea: language that is clear, concise, hard to misconstrue, and simple without [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This post on the use of <a href="http://www.adamsdrafting.com/2010/10/09/immediately-automatically-if-then-causality/">the term immediately</a>, one of many similar explorations by <a href="http://www.adamsdrafting.com/">Ken Adams</a>, is the sort of thing that attracts me to contract drafting. There is a lot to be said for using the right language to convey an idea: language that is clear, concise, hard to misconstrue, and simple without being simplistic.</p>
<p>In reference to a post on the use of <a href="http://www.adamsdrafting.com/2010/10/01/aggressively/">the term aggressively</a>, I wrote:</p>
<blockquote><p>These comments seem like nitpicking and pedantry until you start to  listen carefully and accept the empirical, outcome-based approach that  Ken Adams has followed. What do courts do with our contract language?  Isn&#8217;t that a significant goal of drafting? To tell parties to what  standards they can expect to be held?</p></blockquote>
<p>Every time I read one of these posts it energizes me to re-read my form contracts for even simple things like <a href="http://rickcolosimo.com/2009/10/five-minute-general-counsel-compare-ownership-structures/">entity formation</a> (<a href="http://rickcolosimo.com/2009/10/five-minute-general-counsel-incorporate-a-tech-startup/">startup</a> and <a href="http://rickcolosimo.com/2009/10/five-minute-lawyer-how-to-plan-a-nonprofit/">nonprofit</a>), <a href="http://rickcolosimo.com/2009/02/what-does-dilution-mean-to-a-startup-founder/">founder&#8217;s documents</a>, and <a href="http://rickcolosimo.com/tag/venture-capital/">venture financing</a>.</p>
<p>I have been in discussions with some of my colleagues around the country on creating both a new new set of startup and <a href="http://rickcolosimo.com/2009/08/will-vcs-adopt-a-simple-series-a/">venture documents</a> and some additional materials (still in stealth mode!) for entrepreneurs. If you&#8217;re interested in hearing about these directly when they&#8217;re available, sign up for <a href="http://rickcolosimo.com/feed/">free RSS updates</a>, or send me an email at <a href="mailto://rick@rickcolosimo.com">rick@rickcolosimo.com</a>.</p>
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		<title>Clean up your writing by eliminating deadwords</title>
		<link>http://rickcolosimo.com/2009/01/clean-up-your-writing-by-eliminating-deadwoords/</link>
		<comments>http://rickcolosimo.com/2009/01/clean-up-your-writing-by-eliminating-deadwoords/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Jan 2009 15:49:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rickcolosimo.com/?p=39</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Eliminate words no one uses from your writing to make it flow more smoothly.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was just reading an <a href="http://www.forbes.com/magazines/forbes/2009/0202/060.html">article</a> in the Feb. 2 issue of <a href="http://www.forbes.com/">Forbes</a> about the rising cost of college as compared to the value of education. As a well-educated (and expensively educated) person, I&#8217;m going to restrain myself from commenting on either side of the issue.</p>
<p>I will complain, however, about the article&#8217;s use of the word &#8220;sheepskin&#8221; to refer to a diploma or college degree: &#8220;&#8230;dramatically undermining any value a <em>sheepskin</em> adds.&#8221;</p>
<p>A few weeks ago, there was an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daddy%27s_Boy">episode</a> of the show &#8220;House&#8221; that had a character, a working-class fellow who owned a scrapyard. Talking to his son the night before graduation, he mentions wanting to watch his son &#8220;get that <em>sheepskin</em>.&#8221;</p>
<p>Please! Who has ever used that word, deliberately and honestly, in casual conversation? &#8220;Sheepskin&#8221; is one of those words that no one actually uses and should have died out years ago. My belief is that it&#8217;s kept alive by writers who know lots of words and simply get bored with using &#8220;diploma&#8221; or &#8220;degree&#8221; or anything similar. &#8220;Sheepskin&#8221; has a nice Shakespearean tone to it, and if challenged, the writer can always launch into the &#8220;well, in the olden days, they actually&#8230;&#8221; story and further impress people about her extensive knowledge of stuff that matters much less than we thought it did in college.</p>
<p>Full disclosure: I was an English major at a liberal arts college, and I really liked it. I read a lot, and I am trying to write more. I seriously considered becoming a professor. To add insult to injury, I have an Ivy-League law degree and started out as a litigator, one of those people who writes long persuasive argumentative documents and letters. I have already walked the path these people are, with one small difference. I&#8217;ve listened more to the people around me and realize when language is just not appropriate.</p>
<p>These phrases have effectively turned into jargon or argot [see, I did it there just to prove a point -- argot is a French word, borrowed by English, that means slang], even though they don&#8217;t meet the traditional definitions of those terms. &#8220;Sheepskin&#8221; isn&#8217;t a term of art among anyone, but using it creates the same effects as the use of jargon: exclusion, hubris, and confusion.</p>
<p>For lawyers, I&#8217;ve found the &#8220;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0195142365?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=thoughtstorm&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0195142365">Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage</a>&#8221; to be very helpful at eliminating the stumbling-block phrases that seem to infect legal writing more than you think. I like this book so much that it&#8217;s my standard gift to new lawyers and law students that I know. It&#8217;s that good.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve always liked Quentin Tarantino&#8217;s comment about his films; he said that even if you didn&#8217;t like the story, the film, or any number of other things, you had to admit that he wrote great dialogue that sounded realistic. People don&#8217;t always talk like they do in Jackie Brown or Pulp Fiction, but they could.</p>
<p>When you&#8217;re editing your own writing, think about your audience and catch those words that they wouldn&#8217;t ever write themselves. Eliminating the deadwood words will freshen up your writing and help it flow more smoothly.</p>
<p>Please add your suggestions for similar words that should be retired in the comments; I&#8217;ll do a round-up post once we have enough nominations.</p>
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